Then I can put last week out of my head & move forward with a bit more optimism and positivity (is this a word? My brain says it is, this spellcheck says it isn’t) for the week ahead.
Wasn’t the worst week I’ve ever had, but had better. I’ll start with today. Last night had horrible lucid nightmares. Nearly 3 years on from accident and don’t know how I’m ever going to let it go. Believe me, I’ve tried. Having to check myself a lot again lately, stand back from my thoughts before panic sets in. “They are thoughts you are having, they’re not reality, they will pass” or something.
Didn’t have a lot of baking to distract me yesterday. Only 2 orders. And that got me down a bit. I know this week could be different, word may spread, pay day will come for many (and I couldn’t actually walk last Sunday after a full day of it last Saturday) but its good for the soul & distraction and I loved feeling a wee bit of stress at the deadlines I’d set myself last weekend. Kept me occupied, out of trouble, the devil makes work for light hands. Okay, it stopped me gazing at Twitter for hours. I seriously enjoy baking. Its made with love in my heart and pound signs in my eyes.
I woke up this morning with a pounding head, throbbing wrist, knees & ankles. Pretty standard. Home alone, huddled over my phone and barely look up for hours. Which is not healthy is it. Not enough hours in the day and I’m talking about chicken stock cubes online. And now I can’t find the words I need. Procrastinating? Overwhelmed? Typing a load of guff so I don’t have to face anything/everything?
I try to walk Bailey but he’s having none of it. Fine, I’ll go and get him dog food. Get back to car park and would you look at that. Front tyre is flat. Again. Every 3 to 4 months like clockwork. If I could afford a security camera etc (see attached – bit pricey aren’t they?) you’d better start wearing a balaclava Mr O.
I start putting shopping in & the car boot (door? what do you call it?) falls down & smashes me on the head. In the exact same spot my skull fractured. Thought I was going to cry in Sainsburys car park. I yelped. That bit of head has never felt like it belonged to me ever since accident & if I touch it right now I feel physically sick. How’s my luck?! Don’t answer that, I know! Get home & Bailey has eaten two creme eggs. *weeps* With wrappers. Shiny poo this week then.
What else happened this week….something was making me unhappy & a bit unloved, thought I’d be happier by stopping it but now feel worse not better. I need a life coach. Not those two off This Morning. Gawd no. Or not even a life coach, someone to make decisions for me. That’s a life coach isn’t it. Crap (zero) pay, 24/7 working hours, lots of “don’t you tell me what to do, you’re wrong!”s, no holiday pay but free parking & cake. Anyone?!
Ah well, Sophie will be home soon & I’m off to eat a tub of strawberry ice-cream. Self-care. Here’s to a good week of love, fun & lottery wins for all of us, whether it starts today or tomorrow. x
And here’s a pic of Bailey’s “I done bad, I know” face.
PS. I’m an Amazon Affiliate, please use my links for purchases, doesn’t have to be for the exact item I advertise. Thank you x